Prayer Works

I recently found myself running in circles, overthinking various dynamics and relationships in my life. Normally in these situations I would send God a few quick prayers via slingshot, and then begin to problem solve. While this is an okay way of coping with hard stuff, it's not perfect. Primarily because deep down I often yearn to control the situation. I want the solution to be according to my will, instead of God's greatest desire and hope for us. 

So this time around, I tried something different. I began to pray for the person on my mind, without prescription, simply that God would be with us, guide us, and bless us. The next thing I knew, I was praying for every person I anticipated encountering that day, and those that I would come to meet unexpectedly.  It was freeing. So that night, I did it again, this time praying for every person and situation I had encountered during the day, and all those I was anticipating tomorrow. This time, it felt even more liberating.

Several days of living into this prayer practice passed by.  I found myself beginning and ending each day with prayers for the people I had encountered--from the distracted grocery clerk, to the hurting neighbor, to the righteous parishioner, to the spirit filled volunteer, to the wounded grandmother, to the demented grandfather, to the joyful children on the playground. Sometimes I'll even engage in this prayer practice while driving or waiting in line. It's become rejuvenating and life giving. I feel as though God has carved out a space within me that can now hold more oxygen, or a bigger space for God's Spirit to dwell within.   

I've also found myself running in less mental circles. When I begin to  overthink or to yearn to control a situation, I find myself taking a breath and beginning to pray.  David Rynick, a zen teacher who led our recent clergy conference, said, "If you are in the control business, you will lose."  I have never thought about it that way. And, frankly, I need to. No good comes from trying to control a situation, no good comes from overthinking or running mental circles.  When our priority is our own will, instead of God's greatest desire and hope for us, we've gone off track.

We still need to be responsible for ourselves and keep our commitments to those around us, yet we have to remember that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves, and that we are not actually in charge (thank God).  Even when the answer or the path ahead remains unclear, God is with us, walking alongside us, and has a great desire and hope for us and all of creation. 

So as it turns out, prayer works. Not always in the way we expect or desire, but it works.  Even though daily prayer has long been a part of my life, when I encounter it in new ways, I find myself surprised by the way prayer really does work. By the way God shows up, again and again. In return, I have discovered more patience, more compassion, and problems resolving in ways filled with God's grace. I am who I am, and I know I'm not done learning this lesson about letting go, about the power of prayer, about God's grace, but I write today, so I might remember again when I most need it.